Yodeling Bubblegum Snuggies

Truth is, everybody is going to hurt you
the processed bubblegum bullshit
churned out by the overlords of double-speak
They look like two, giant, gummy-pink, chewed bubble gum slugs

 

Fall into a huge, heaping pile of horse shit
to come out with a sparkling smile
like he is doing an Orbit chewing gum commercial?
A sucker for a woman with bubble gum colored finger nails

 

Stretching out in the empty bed,
I hear the yodeling efforts of Ms Ninja gaining.
This kangaroo punch, bubblegum brain
it seems that snuggies were involved

 

How I miss the bygone seasons of drunk yodeling and impromptu cheerleading
Huge Yodeling Pickle
Dancing like a spastic chimp
A big wad of chewing gum and duct tape will secure that sucker

 

I compiled this poem by typing the words “yodeling,” “bubblegum,” and “snuggies” into google at the same time, and then taking snippets of what the search returned to me. The poem doesn’t have any underlying meaning (as I think that is consistent with the original intent of flarf), but I did try to arrange the phrases in a way that could sound a little bit more like a narrative.

One thought on “Yodeling Bubblegum Snuggies”

  1. I like this part that goes: ” like he is doing an orbit chewing gum commercial?” What makes your this interesting to me is the fact that it is something familiar. I have found the orbit commercial to silly and idiotic. Injecting it in your flarf as a question highlights more to me the absurdness of the orbit gum actually giving people sparkling smiles. The orbit commercial can get super outlandish with its ridiculous ways to dirty peoples mouths just to fix the teeth and make it sparkle with gum. In your poem you challenge this absurdity with a question. “Fall into a huge, heaping pile of horse shit
    to come out with a sparkling smile
    like he is doing an Orbit chewing gum commercial?” LOL.

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